V O I C E
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In the depths of minds;
In the cage of heart;
But decisions are made,
Choices are chosen,
Silence creeps all over”
Wanting something and keeping it are two very different ideas. Everytime we try to quench our thirst for fulfilling one of our wishes, we end up prioritizing many other things. We think long and hard. We cook up reasons that are not even reasons in the first place. We keep wandering around the wrongness in that particular thought. We never stop looking for the worst possible scenarios to change our minds. We try so hard to deny ourselves happiness. True happiness.
I am writing this today but truth be told, today isn’t exactly the day for feeling sad. Although, when I think about it I can’t help but laugh at the concept. You must be wondering what I am even rambling about. I can’t quite name it, you see. But I would try to let the words through somehow even though it is going feel like I am ripping my heart open with a scalpel.
I am not a child. But I most certainly wouldn’t identify myself as a wise adult. So you see, when I feel things being taken away from me, I find myself in the spotlight of my mind’s stage. There one conscience encourages me to rebel, to throw a tantrum, but the other keeps patting my head, consoling me, reminding me that I cannot be selfish. Yes, that is the word. We often choose to not be selfish although being so could bring such immense joy. Not always being selfish is a bad thing. Being selfish for your own happiness is, perhaps, a noble deed. That sounds so wrong, doesn’t it? Well, ask yourself. If you know something will make you happy and it is well within your boundaries, it points to no damned future, it is mentally and physically healthy for you, are you going to give it up? Right now, you may see this question as illogical but I am certain at some point in life you too have had to make a choice. And the funny thing is this keeps getting worse with time.
I suppose that was quite the gloomy introductory speech out there. I promise I wasn’t trying to sound so depressing. Forgive me, okay?
It is a strange world, you know? We are not ruled by monarchs or a stagnant, unchangeable organization, yet we are not completely free in our lives. True we have laws, justice etc. but do we truly have democracy in our lives? Any decision we want to take we are bound by the thoughts and feelings of others. Humans hardly live alone. You think I am talking about the rest of the world? What is society going to think? You are wrong. I am talking about our own families. You need to think about the well being of every member and in the end you start ignoring yourself. That is where my question of selfishness comes.
I truly cannot understand why we end up prioritizing everyone else all the time. Why can’t we voice our thoughts in an ear-splitting scream ? Why do we have to be so selfless? Why do we become so voiceless?