I feel brand new, yet old.
Silent and calm like the wind, yet screaming and burning in my fire.
I feel strong and focused, yet emotionless and unsatisfied.
Cold as ice, yet loving to only a few.
I feel fierce and passionate, yet soft and insecure.
Falling and hurting in the storm, yet surviving and rising like a phoenix.
This transformation, this change was necessary to survive.
But at what cost?
After all that I’ve been through and overcome,
And the difference that I feel between what I am and what I was,
I’m trying to be me again.
I’m trying to find that innocent, happy soul who is nowhere to be seen when I face the mirror.
I’m slowly learning to be happy in the midst of constant work, high expectations and too much ambition.
I’m slowly learning to find happiness in the long day and nights that only test and break you.
I’m slowly learning to allow my old self to enter back into my reality, to have some fun and be myself.
I’m slowly learning how to be alone, and to exist in the moment,
I’m slowly learning to just be, and live.
I’m slowly trying to do the things that I once loved, but stopped due to “no time.”
I’m slowly trying to find some balance so that my over-ambition does not consume me.
I’m slowly trying to blur the lines between the two personalities that I’ve been.
I’m slowly trying to find myself.
I’m slowly trying to know who I am.
Do you know who you are?