All night, I felt paralysed into silence,
Terrorised. 
What was I afraid of, anyway? 
The thing had happened. 
She was dead. 
She was warm ,laughing, trying to teach me, make me better,
Promising to be continued. 
And now.
And now she was colder by the hour,
More dead with every breath I took.
I thought that is the fear. 
I have lost something important,
And I cannot find it, and I need it. 
It is fear like if someone lost his glasses and went to the glasses store and they told him that the world bad run out of glasses and he would just have to do without.
In just a snap everything goes poofff!!
He knelt before a coffin at the front of the chapel. 
The coffin was closed.
Never going to see her again. 
Can't kiss her forehead. Can't see her one last time. 
Just two souls and one body, 
the two who knew what happened and many layers between us too much keeping us from one another.
He knelt down kissed the coffin and whispered
"I'm sorry, you deserved a better friend"